Ronald Rolheiser • June 21, 2018

Why Faith Feels Like Doubt and Darkness

God is ineffable. This is a truth that’s universally accepted as dogma among all Christians and within all the great religions of the world. What does it mean?

In essence, it means that God is beyond us, not like us, but in an utterly different sphere. More especially, it means that God cannot ever be captured in thought, imagination, or word. Any concepts, images, or words we have about God are inadequate at best and idolatrous at worst. God is always beyond what we can think, speak about, or imagine.

But we do have thoughts, images, and words about God and many of these are given to us in scripture. What’s to be made of our traditional biblical and theological images of God? Aren’t they accurate and adequate? In a word, no, they aren’t. To paraphrase Annie Dillard, the concepts and language about God that are given us in scripture and church tradition are simply words that we have permission to use without being struck dead for idolatry. We should never pretend they are accurate and adequate; scripture itself makes that clear. Not understanding this confuses our notion of faith and doubt.

Because we do not existentially grasp and accept that God is ineffable, we generally confuse faith with imagination. Simply put, because we think God can be imagined and conceptualized, we feel that we have faith precisely to the extent that we can imagine God’s existence and God’s person. Conversely, we feel we are in doubt and agnostic when we cannot imagine these. And so we naively identify faith with the capacity to create the right imaginative fantasies and feelings about God, and vice versa.

But, since God is ineffable, we can never imagine either God existence or God’s person. This is an impossible task, by definition. We have only finite concepts within which to try to capture infinity and thus all our human faculties are incapable of conceptualizing God, tantamount to trying to think of the highest number to which it is possible to count.

Does this mean then that faith opposes human reason? No. Faith doesn’t negate human reason, it simply dwarfs it, akin to the way the most sophisticated formulae within contemporary astrophysics dwarf elementary arithmetic and the way the blinding light of a noonday sun dwarfs the paltry light of a candle. Moreover, though helpful, even these analogies limp and are inaccurate. God’s existence and person may not be imagined as that of some supreme Super-person, someone like us, except supremely greater. To imagine God in this way still puts God into the realm of the finite, a creature still, even if Super-supreme, imaginable, able to be conceptualized, not ineffable, a number we can still count to. God, though, is not a reality that can be counted. God’s existence and person can never be conceptualized.

Moreover, this is true as well for our understanding of God’s love. It too is beyond our imagination and capacity to conceptualize. Our universe, though finite, is so vast and prodigious that our imaginations already run out of room in their efforts simply to picture the finite world. Beyond this, just on this one planet, earth, we have billions upon billions of persons, each of which has a heart and meaning that is individually precious. How can we imagine a God who somehow knows and loves this all intimately? We can’t! Our minds and our hearts simply don’t stretch that far; though they do stretch far enough to ask: Why wouldn’t an infinite God create so an unimaginatively huge a universe and so many billions and billions of people to love and share in this creation? And why would an infinite God suddenly say (after we have been born): “That’s enough! I now have as many people as I want!”

God befuddles the mind, the heart, and the imagination. It cannot be otherwise. Any God who could be understood would not be God. God is not a supreme Superman, like us, only bigger, stronger, and more powerful. The infinite, precisely because it is infinite, cannot be circumscribed and grasped, either in its existence, its person, or its capacity to love. We can know the infinite, but we cannot think the infinite.

Because of this, at some point in our lives, faith will feel like darkness, belief like unbelief, and God’s person and existence will feel like nothing, emptiness, non-existence, nada. Our minds and hearts will, at that point, come up dry and empty when they try to imagine or feel God, not because God doesn’t exist or is less present than the physical world, but because God is so massively present, so real, so above all other lights, that God’s reality will dwarf everything to the point to where it gives the impression that it itself doesn’t exist

In faith, God is known this way: As a light so bright that it’s perceived as darkness, as a love so universal that it’s perceived as indifference, and as a reality so real that it’s perceived as nothing.


By Webmaster September 7, 2026
Lourdes Roadshow & Quiz Night plus Pie & Peas 7pm at St Austins Parish Centre on Saturday 3rd October . Info & tickets Phil Marshall 07766 148375
By Webmaster September 5, 2026
Challenge: Memorize the Creed by 26th/27th September! Alternatively there are coloured Order of Mass cards to purchase at £1, £2, or £3 – whatever you can give via the collection please. There will always be plain cards available in church
By Webmaster September 5, 2026
Community Action Project (CAP) and Wakefield City of Sanctuary Donations of food or clothes via the collection box in the Narthex gratefully received. Your kindness is very much appreciated by both organisations
By Webmaster September 5, 2026
Parish Social WINE CALL MY BLUFF Friday 25th September (for 18+) Bring Family and Friends! Adults £17.50, Students (18+) £12.50, Non-Drinkers £7.50  RAFFLE PRIZES GRATEFULLY RECEIVED beforehand to Annette or on the night
By Webmaster September 5, 2026
Invitation for names of baptized children in Year 3 and above from September.  This sacrament is required for admission into the Holy Communion (Yr 4+) and Confirmation (Yr 6+) programmes
By Webmaster August 28, 2026
Our next meeting is on Wednesday 16th September at 11am in the chapel when we will be focusing on Praying through Life. Why not join us and enrich your spiritual life?
By Webmaster August 28, 2026
This magazine is being reinstituted in paper and online formats from September. (I suggested this in 2016!). If two or three people not currently holding a parish job would like to send in a couple of items each month, please make yourselves known. Gregory
By Webmaster August 28, 2026
This Monday at 2pm PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT! + Quiz. All welcome
By Webmaster August 28, 2026
Prayer for Deceased Clergy (August) Please pray for the repose of the souls of our departed brethren 23rd Rev Terence James Corrigan 1967 24th Rt Rev Mgr Canon Joseph McShane 1981 26th Rev Alfred B Moverley 1947 Rev William Moverley 1975 Rev John Cashaman 1986 Very Rev Canon Donal Stritch 1987 28th Rev Thomas Moriarty 1971 Rev Bernard Duffy 1989 29th Very Rev Canon Paul Hennelly 1976 30th Rev Kieran Kehoe 1983 Rev Michael C L Cresswell 1994 31st Rev Thomas Corcoran 1963 Rev Daniel J O’ Keeffe 2004 Very Rev Mgr Canon Frank Robinson 2014  1st Rev John Carr 1926 Very Rev Canon Timothy P Coughlan 1991 Very Rev Canon Joseph Taylor 2024 3rd Rev Leo Mitchell 1999 4th Rev Francis van Neste 1932
By Webmaster August 23, 2026
Beautiful processions last week. Donations and help with ongoing garden maintenance welcome, even popping in to water occasionally.  Please speak to Anthony or Christine
More Posts